Segway Total War

The starting of the level.

 is a level made by hdggDalon. It was released on May 23rd 2015 and it is gathering up around 1,250 plays, currently 4.00 average rating and 3.06 weighted rating out of 6 votes. Segway Guy is the forced character.


It is a reference to Total War games, considering the fact that is has swordsmen. YOU start with a longsword in your belly, but because it is stuck halfway in your belly, you have a shorter reach than your sword wielding enemies. It helps, though, since all triggers (pin joints to the background and the weapon) are disabled when you kill someone.


Irresponsible Soldier

You can easily jump over him and push his sword into his face. He wields a longsword like yours, in a defensive position. His sword covers him from the pelvis to the head, and if you charge straight into him, you will get stabbed in the head.

Really, Really Desperate Housewife

She can be taken out like Irresponsible Soldier, but she is armed with a cutlass and her grip covers her down from the pelvis up to the neck. The cutlass is pointed more into an offensive stance, and it is likely that when you charge her head on, she will impale you painfully instead of instantly killing you.

Melon Moped Woman

She is armed, ironically, with a melon. She is just an easter egg, because why would you walk into a swordfight with a melon? Right? Her melon defends her body a lot, though.

Moped Axeman

He jumps at you just as you approach the finish line, but his attack can easily be thwarted by going fast enough. He is meant to surprise you as you think that it's all over, but all of a sudden the Melon Moped Woman's husband ambushes you in revenge.

What makes this level special?

It may be one of a gazillion other swordfight levels, but most swordfight levels sit you in a sword throw body container with a sword or two and makes characters walk or zipline at you while you try to fight them off with sword. THIS level makes YOU the swordfighter, and there is a special impulse trigger that makes the characters rise their swords to defend themselves when you approach. Normally impulse triggers launch the characters, but when they're pinned to the back ground in the knees and the head, they move their swords to defend themselves which is basically unintentional. I was trying to find out a way to make the sword move, not the character, but oh well, it is a realistic simulation of how people panic in a swordfight and contribute to their death more than their defense or survival.



Irresponsible Soldier killed.


Really Desperate Howsewife killed.


Melon Moped Woman killed.


Moped Axeman killed, also the Finish line.


  • When you trigger the Irresponsible Soldier's impulse, there is around 60% chance of him commiting suicide.
  • Hold Ctrl to assume a couching position. This way, your sword will be straight like a lance.
  • If you recieve a nonlethal blow by a sword, you can reverse in attempt to break your opponent's arms and disarm him/her as a result.
  • If you catch your opponent with a nonlethal blow, you are stuck if the sword is deep enough within the body.
  • You can pull off the Melon Moped Woman's melon by holding Ctrl, stabbing the melon, reversing, and pulling off her arms! Voila! You now have her melon!